Macy Kay

Macy turned 2 at the end of February, and it was actually the same day we moved, so things were a little disorganized and chaotic, and then everything else happened, so I just wanted to notate a few of her adorable characteristics.
*She is a chatter bug, always talking and in not just in sentences, but in whole conversations.
*She is a bit of a pack rat, and has to take everything with her everywhere she goes.
*She throws her head back and does an evil laugh! It is so cute.
*She loves everyone so much and misses them when they are gone. This includes her daddy #1, then her sisters, her grandparents, her cousins, and occasionally her aunts and uncles.
*She loves babies and literally smothers her new born cousins.
*She chooses Diego over Dora any day.
*She loves band-aids and wants them all over her body, but not on her actual ouies.
*She loves dresses and twirling in them.
*She likes to torture her sisters for fun, like poking them in the eyes or vigorously grabbing them while pinching a little bit of skin.
*She loves to play barbies with Saydee and coloring is a pretty close second.
*She brushes her own teeth, and puts on her own shoes.
*She sleeps in her own big girl bed and drinks out of a sippy cup only (no more bottles!)
*She knows all the animals and their corresponding noises.
*She knows all her colors and most of them in Spanish and Sign Language.
*She randomly counts to 12
*She is the best snuggle bug ever and her kisses are long and slimey ( I love them)
*On a personal note, she has been my saving Grace during yucky times, watching her smile and laugh, enjoying life, and watching her discovering new things has been such a wonderful blessing in all of our lives. We love her endlessly!

This is Macy shooting this last weekend with her papa Kyle.

Days R Getting Better

My days are getting better, and that's about it. I've been busy taking care of my family, painting rooms, making cards for a card club, making hair bows for the girls summer outfits, working out, cleaning, having lunch with Dave on a daily basis, shopping on craigslist, and anything else I can fill my day with.
This last weekend we went to Payson to my parents home and we had a really nice time just relaxing and playing games. We also, went shooting(pistols), had a picnic, and skipped rocks down the river! It was so great to get out of town and spend some time in the outdoors. I forgot my camera, but I guess sometimes it's okay to just enjoy the moment rather than watching behind a lens.
Also, I had a great hair day today. I know it's lame, but every once in a while my hair works out great, and today was that day. Too bad I didn't have anywhere special to go, so my hair just made my 3 dollar wal-mart shirt and Yoga pants look good.

The Mask We Wear

I went Visiting Teaching today and it was so eye-opening. I guess, I DIDN'T, realize what a mask we as people or myself wears. I was so bummed after coming out of church yesterday, and I haven't had the courage or the DESIRE (a big word) to go to Relief Society or Sunday School after everything we just went through because I know I will cry and I don't want that headache. Literally, my head kills afterwords, so I just hang out in nursery with Macy. I am sure the Nursery leaders want me to get out of there, but I don't care.
But the truth is, it seems like everyone has it all together. All the women are so well put together, and seem to have it all under control, gorgeous, and just picturesque almost. So I came home from church a little bummed and just knowing that this plain jane, (t-shirt wearing, jean wearing, flip-flop wearing) girl would never fit in with these women of accessories, these women who appear to be so perfect. Then, I went out to the back porch where my intention was to call my mom and see how she was doing, but instead my Aunt Rachel answered the phone. And she was so inspiring to me and let me know that what we see on the outside isn't always what's really going on. And that it's okay to just be me, weird, unique, classy or whatever.
Then, I went Visiting Teaching today and WOW, she was so right. One lady told me, "I am so happy to be surrounded by real people, not people who are concerned about their appearances, but are just REAL." And then the next woman, who appears to have it all, just feels very disconnected with where she's at in life. However, you would have never known. My new Visiting Teaching Companion, who really IS amazing, is battling with something personal, but again, YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW.
And I just realized, it's okay to BE REAL, I don't need to wear a mask, or be something MORE than I am. It's good to strive to be THE BEST ME, but there is no need to wear a mask and appear that I AM SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME. Now this is old knowledge and I have never really tried to be someone else, but I have tried to be something more than I am. Something BETTER!!

ANYWAY.................NO MORE MASKS HERE, WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET, LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME!!

Getting It Back Together

So, I am getting it back together. And by that I mean "MENTALLY BACK TOGETHER" and I am still avoiding things I shouldn't, like phone calls. Don't hate me if I ignored your phone call. I had generally just cried and it was not worth the conversation. Speaking of crying, I had a dr.'s appointment 2 days ago, I was doing a little better, and the nurse calls me back and says, "OH MY, I bet your feeling your baby kick and move around all over the place?!!??" and...well I just put my head down and cried. I wanted to take my hand and place it on the back of her neck and slam her head into the counter. And Then while I had her head in my hands, I wanted to knee her in the stomach so hard and make her bleed internally. (I think I saw that one time on one of my husbands killer-die movies) I am sure that thought is sheer evil, but truthfully, I thought if I knocked her out, maybe she couldn't ruin anyone else's day or life from that point forward. But....back to what really happened.... I just cried. And then she had the nerve to try and make her big-fat-idiot mistake better by coming in, while I am right in the middle of a very yucky woman's exam to stare at my ear. She literally bent over and was staring at my ear, and then mumbled something, and I was like, "WHAT?" with a bit of a snide tone to my voice. And she says, "I like your earrings, they're pretty." WHATEVER, (that's what I was thinking, just leave me the heck alone please.)
I know it was a mistake, and we all make them, but come on, PULL YOUR HEAD OUT!
ANYWAYS, I am doing a little better at not breaking down, and thinking so evil.
(ps...I know some of you thought I was really sweet and lovely, and I am sorry to disappoint you, but when you mess with me, I turn all ghetto....I working on that)

So now, I am focusing on organizing our home we had moved into a 1.5 months ago, and painting walls, making bows for the girls hair, and thank-you notes.
So.............there we have it. From this point forward I am going to start blogging about life outside my head and thoughts. You know, the stuff that's been going on around me that I have somehow missed during the last 2 weeks.
AGAIN, I just want to send out a big thankyou to everyone who has been so supportive and to my fabulous mom, sister, and mother-in-law who turned their lives upside down to come and help me out for a few days. I know it wasn't easy or enjoyable, but I truly TRULY needed you and am so glad you were here. I seriously dislike using the word NEED, but it's true, I needed you and you were there.......THANK YOU so much.